January 2011
100 posts
Well at least someone thinks you're funny.
….I’m morbidly obese, balding, have a hairy back, am unemployed AND my mother is my “roommate”….what would YOU bring to the table? LOL Man I crack myself up!
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I actually want to give this guy all negative points because this message is just so dumb, but:
+2 for “LOL Man I crack myself up!” Good one.
+8 for thinking it’s cute to make his...
I also like fishing, the outdoors, and meeting...
hey my name is [redacted] would u love to meet me i love to meet u love to go the movie with me and my friends go get coffee and go hanu out the park and meet new friends and i like to go fishing and all out door and go the bar playing pool and have a beer
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+2 for spelling/grammar carnage.
+7 for inviting her on a date with his friends.
+8 for...
And my culture highly values tact. Weird.
Subject: wow
you are a very beautiful woman i am originally from Kenya and my culture highly values the gap in your teeth. how do you feel about it?
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+4 for thanks, kind of?
+3 for using the gap in someone’s teeth as a conversation-starter.
+4 for the implication that she probably does not actually like her teeth. Veiled insults = best way to get a...
Well that sucks, because rage-filled John Goodman...
Your an overweight girl, that rights novel’s instead of ad’s for friendship or other, as is a HUGE Literacy nerd? Women are so funny. You care more how a man spells, than his character or otherwise. Too bad, because i do misspell often. I went to Harvard, own a successful company and an very very attractive (no, we wont be sharing pictures, you dont deserve mine). Instead, realize that mean...
I'm from the great country of Africa, but don't...
I was just wondering what your nationality was, because you look very ethnic.
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+4 for totally inappropriate.
+5 for “ethnic.” Really?
TOTAL POINTS: 9.
Finally, a man who can handle my daddy issues
go to sleep its past ur bed time lol
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+6 for eew.
+4 for pedo-creepy.
+2 for text-speak.
+ another 2 because really, eew. Go to your room.
TOTAL POINTS: 14.
And u could be my eclipse.
Subject: Brite as the sun
Hello my name is Tommy, u look n sound like a brite woman that i would like 2 get 2 know ,what is your name?
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+2 for spelling/grammar carnage.
+5 for sending a “brite” woman a message that reads like it was written by a twelve-year-old girl on a...
Indeed.
TITTAYS
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Total points: 100.
You have been proven correct. There are first...
ok, I read your profile, and was browsing your pictures and i had a very disturbing thought about your last picture. I said it outloud verbatim “Oh my god! That chocolate cake looks so delicious!” I know i’m a dork. I’m [redacted]. I’m 29 and live in Newark, NJ. I am agnostic about everything from Theology and the Universe to “How the hell do they make so many of those things so fast”? My thought...
No, but I speak it.
Subject: Hey : ) Are u from European ?
Hey !.How re u ? So sorry to bother u :( I’m really want to get to know u more..I see U look so different.U look so real ,pretty and sincere.Also U’re smiling so sweet..Meanwhile I’m silly , funny and really honest for u: )) I wish i can get message from u
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+5 for unprecedented...
So, wait. Can I wish for three more wishes, or is...
Subject: i will make you the food you like every time you
desire….i will answer all your questions, pls don’t tell no one, i am the last messager, the last prophet…hm hm…and i’ll make you laugh and wash your feet every night…what do you need …tell me, except a million $ you will have to wait…hm hm…i can see that i will win the lottery very soon… don,t miss me, i am the One, you will be on my...
I've been looking for someone who is so awesome at...
Subject: nice guy, looking for a fun weekend
I’ll be honest…I’m in a relationship but she has stopped liking sex…. we’ve talked about it, tried different stuff… I don’t need to get into all that, but we no longer are physical with each other… and I’m starting to go crazy… so am I looking for casual sex, yes. Does that mean I’m some whack job? no…. just longing for some attention while I...
id love to give this a try on somthing now serious but fun and envious give me a shout. i have pics and video. we can get something rolling. i share your interests with sex and would love to explore more of thatworld with you. a box of condoms can go a long way! hehe ciao xoxo
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+2 for spelling and grammar carnage.
+6 for the entire message making no sense....
I'm a single gal who likes men in general and...
Subject: I like what I read!
I’m a single guy who likes women in general and loves intelligent, bright ones. You seem to be in the 2nd category. I do hope so. Why? Because I want to know more about you, meet you, become a friend or more. Really. I don’t play games online nor in real life. :-)
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+4 for originality. You like intelligent, bright people? You don’t...
And you should probably just end it all right now....
subject: You should…
Stop being a cunt and start talking to people, unless for some odd reason or another your inbox is just getting raped by people messaging you with the intent of doing THAT, consensually, with you. But I mean who am i to talk? Oh wait I am one to talk! Cause I actually do! Well fancy that; talk about expressing the first amendment. So in conclusion, stop being a cunt,...
We can only talk about books if you have read...
Subject: My Dear Lady… …you are indeed a poet! My my my, you’re words are flick’ring delicacies for my eyes! I dare say, I am embarrassed to even ATTEMPT clever word-play in the presence of a true mistress of the the form! I find you to be enchantingly dreamful, where did you learn to sing such sweetness! In all serious, my prose fails me. You have this SPARK,...
I am a little ticklish, so don't freak out if I...
Subject: My sweet sexy beautiful woman
As I Gaze at your picture and your sweet tender smile. I see the sweetness of passion and contentment of hope for love in strong arms. I just hope they are my arms. I want to come to you. hold you worship you for your womanliness. you have my full attention. wrap your beautiful arms and legs around me curl your sexy feet in the air and allow me to lick...
I don't, but I wear a very realistic wig.
Hope your 2011 is going well so far. I was checking out some local profiles and came across yours. It definitely caught my eye. Perhaps we can chat some? Also if you have pubic hair please right back immediately. [Name]
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+15 for totally normal until BAM!
TOTAL POINTS: 15.
I am a lady-princess who is 40 years older than...
Hi. I like the way you’ve written your profile. Well I have questions as to whether this OK Cupid thing is real. I am really looking forward to find someone to love and cherish for the rest of my life. I need someone real and honest, the lady I treat like a princess because I believe every lady deserve that kind of treatment. I have small black eyes, short hair and I love casual attire. I...
No, you most clearly are not.
[My profile says “Turn-offs: […] people who don’t know the difference between your/you’re or their/they’re/there.” Yesterday, I got this message:]
(insert something clever) have you seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY [I visited his profile, didn’t respond, and then he sent me this message:]
I guess I didn’t put this in...
