Hello there wanna chat and watch me workout my muscles on cam ?
+5 for any message that includes the term “on cam.”
+3 for any message that includes the term “wanna chat.”
+6 because what lady doesn’t want to spend her day watching a stranger from eHarmony lift weights in front of his webcam?
+4 because you know how sex would go with this guy: He’d be on top, and he’d be watching his own arms flex as he repeatedly jack-hammered you. Sometimes he’d let you be on top, just so he could jackhammer you up and down like a ragdoll while he stared at his own arms. He’d say “fuck yeah” a lot, and after five minutes of thrusting would be pretty darn pleased with himself. He has never heard of the “clitoris.”
+3 for impressive narcissism.
TOTAL POINTS: 21.