The size issue is definitely upsetting.
______________________________________________________ +15 for the HILARIOUS Ok Cupid moderator conversation along the right-hand side. +4 for “user has sent link to photos of a small penis. Delete.” +6 for the next video of him jacking off (delete), and then “its different every time you click on it!” TOTAL POINTS: 25.
I don't even need to see it to make fun of you.
Hello sexy. I’m a nice guy but I have a small penis. Would you make fun of it and have to cheat on me? __________________________________________ +6 for cuckolding fetish, right? Right. +3 because yes, be up-front with your fetishes, but (a) be up-front about them instead of creepily beating around the bush, and (b) be up-front about them once you’ve actually met the person you’re...
Is this your patented "Three-Second Slam" I've...
I wouldn’t mind putting a rubber on and slamming you from behind. _____________________________________ +4 for safety first! +2 because “rubber,” really? Are you going to shag me with a rubber before we smoke some dope? DAD GET OFF THE INTERNET. +7 for his sexy offer to “slam” you. From behind. What vagina doesn’t get a little smiley when it hears it’s about...
Well you sound like you'd be a real joy in the...
+8 because you are definitely not any sort of rapist, domestic abuser or criminal. +5 for thinking that this is somehow sexy. Someone has been reading too much 50 Shades of Grey. +4 for believing that this will make a woman interested in him, and not actually totally terrified. +2 because thank God OK Cupid has a “block this user [because he’s definitely a threat to my...
No but my boot might get caught in your ass.
would my Prince Albert get caught in your tooth gap? __________________________________________________ +3 for gross. +6 for not only vaguely insulting her gap tooth, but insulting it with a disgusting comment. +4 because the answer is probably yes. TOTAL POINTS: 13.
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Sorry, I only do disco sticks.
Okay I’m going to just ask and hope for the best….. lets be honest. Do you wanna hook up and fuck? You seem like my type of woman, personality wise. And I really like you. Sexy, free time college student here.. I’m NOT looking for a one night stand… I’m possibly considering a friends with benefits relationship. I just haven’t enjoyed the way I would want to with anyone yet, still looking for...
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Sounds like you'd prefer sushi.
+3 for intro run-on sentence. +5 for clearly not understanding the meaning of the word “elegant.” +4 for elegance, elegance, elegance, I WANNA EAT YO PUSSY. +6 for thinking pussy tastes like strawberry shortcake. There are a lot of great things about eating pussy, but its strawberry shortcake flavor is not one of them. +5 for the long discussion of her “solar...
Here's my fist. Run it into your face, maybe.
I’m tall, skinny, and talk a lot of shit. I’ve had a gym membership since ‘09.. I write poetry.. Here’s one.. Hey I just met you.. And this is crazy… But here’s my laundry.. So wash it, maybe? __________________________________________ +5 for hilarious poem. LOL I hope you crack a “make me a sammich!” joke next. Hilarious, seriously, and super original. +6 for...