September 2012
20 posts
What I feel like when I pick the most flattering...
How I feel when I get the 19th "Hey gurl" message...
When I realize that I came home drunk last night...
3 tags
How I feel when I see another message directed to...
4 tags
And you kinda remind me of a guy I would never...
_____________________________________
+6 for opening with sexual abuse.
+4 for “you remind me of a woman who was sexually abused by several people.”
+8 for that tampon story. That’s… kind of awesome? But also fucking disgusting and crazy. I mean, fuck that guy, what a toad, but yeah pulling out a tampon in a bar is… something. If I were a random patron, I...
What I do when for once I actually get a decent...
Me when I check the inbox to this website.
When I realize I have been online dating for three...
Date me or I will kill myself. (Don't worry,...
why can’t I find a good looking woman with her life in order to DATE and be in a RELATIONSHIP with??? Am I too ugly? I would have thought having a stable job, place of my own, car, Harley, dog and no kids would be a good thing??? but it seems that those things don’t matter. I think I am a decent looking guy. I’m not sure what I have to do to attract the right woman. I’m not picky, but yet I don’t...
What should really be the tagline of my online...
What I do when the one halfway dateable man on...
How I feel when I look at who has viewed my...
via
1 tag
What I'm usually doing while browsing OK Cupid...
via
A(n)nals of Online Dating: NOW WITH MORE JIFFS.
JUST WAIT. See, we’re in touch with what the kids like.
Go away, douche. That's American.
Please respond with your approximate height and weight. I need it for the cage, I mean dress I’m planning on buying you. I’m 5’8, 185 lbs, Christian, spiritual, single, monogamous, romantic, politically incorrect, Conservative Libertarian, kind of funny, a little crazy, very protective, and as a bonus, I smell a lot like love and have intelligents two - won a spielling be in gramnar skool. I’d...
Doing some public service with my Buzzfeed column... →
Basically anyone with a head and a vagina will do.
+10 for that username.
+15 for holy disgusting!
+3 because do you think he likes sex?
+5 for his fantasies involving latex and vegetables.
+4 because he’s German. Of course he is.
+6 for the youngest person he’s ever slept with being “too dirty” to discuss. Um… that’s because it was a child, wasn’t it? Go to jail.
TOTAL POINTS: 43.
2 tags
I may act like a teenage girl, but at least I...
WHY ARE U SO MEEN 2 ME I WAS JUS INTERESTED IN U CUZ U SEEM LIKE A SWEET PERSON BUT I SEE UR NOT U JUST PRE JUDJE ME WITH OUT EVEN KNOWING ME GROW U UR ACTING LIKE UR A TEEN AGE GIRL IN STEAD OF A WOMAN IN HER 20TYS I DONT WANT 2 TALK 2 U EITHER GOOD BYE
________________________________________________________
+3 for ALL CAPS.
+6 for “U JUST PRE JUDJE ME.” I wouldn’t say...
Buzzfeed Column: The Proto-Rapists of OK Cupid →
Sorry, I'm on Team Jacob.
+15 for HUMAN SACRIFICE.
+6 for sacrifice and rape. Sacrifice and THEN rape? I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than the opposite order.
+2 because of course his name is Edward. Is this some bizarro Twilight shit? I don’t understand.
+4 because does he understand what “sacrifice” means? I suspect no, and that he thinks it’s just part of some...
