A(n)nals of Online Dating

MESSAGE 1: I really would like to just talk a bit one day. Not tonight, not trying to corner you. I’ve been working on a project for the weekend and am about to crash. I’ve found you to be a great inspiration in a bizarre 3rd party’ish way. I wrote to you earlier, but didn’t send it.. I’m a month into this site this week and am very discouraged, not cause I want things to happen overnight, but I have a hard time comprehending why people are either so aloof or full of themselves. You and one other girl, honestly, seem different. The other, lives even farther from me than you do and isn’t quite the same…

If nothing else, I am really interested in seeing some of your writings.

-Brian

MESSAGE 2: You’re right, hair looks so great it almost neutralizes the lameness of a self pic.

Unfortunately, you don’t seem interested in even a clever exchange of words. I would just like to leave you with a few sincere comments.

When I first came across a jaundice looking thumbnail, I figured, poor lighting, or offer some herbal advice. What I found were multitudes of inspiration. How’s this so, without direct communication? Well, I’m a thinker and I regularly reflect on what goes through my mind and, at least what I *can* perceive of, my central nervous system.

Without regard for communication by your obvious disinterest, I am more free to be even more candid than my already open nature.

That said, your face and emotion perceived through images of laughter, combined with your words, was enough to spark a lot of inner dialogue. Some took less time than it takes to type, while some didn’t hit me for days or more.

First- I now realize, the aesthetic attraction I tried to shrug off as shallow, is here to stay and trying to abate something so natural to me, I believe, would result in future misgivings should I try to avoid it.

Another- I thought of a new t-shirt phrase: Will travel for romance.

Another- I admit, I hit the favorite button, *mostly* because I am a bit shallow and found your face to be the prettiest I have yet encountered on this site, but will un-click that status shortly, cause, hey, why torture myself. Leave well enough alone. Further, maybe I can offer you a glimpse into the minds of men you may not even half-heartedly trust.. Can I really be this revealing by telling you what my private note to self was? Fuck it, “your private notes” To wit: Totally my type. Breathtaking doesn’t do her justice. Gas and tolls on the daily if we clicked. So hate the 70 miles between us that is NJ. Lie to yourself Brian, think what a nasty person she must be, she probably kicks dogs, might be a socialist and thinks you’re ugly……..F’k!, still doesn’t make it better. This is why I didn’t want to sign up for this, now look at me, I’m ranting notes to myself and thinking when the last time was I actually prayed out loud.

Another- I actually considered myself Agnostic for a long time, until I dug through enough etymology and mystery school text to dislike the word and find it a misnomer.

I could go on, trust me, but maybe you see the point. Whether we are aware of it or not, it’s amazing how profoundly we can impress one another. This is an aspect of life, most of us shrug off unfortunately.

I wish you the best in all. I was raised by a single mother and value many of her wise words. That said, I bow out, however disheartening. I find it a loss, if nothing else, for the inability to share some of each others perspective to better become whoever it is we may better be one day.

Namaste, Brian

_____________________________________________

+5 because this guy lives two states away, sends a bizarro initial message and then gets all butthurt when the object of his internet affection doesn’t respond.

+4 for repeat negs. “You and one other girl seem different.” “Almost neutralizes the lameness of a self pic.” You seem great.

+3 for TL;DR.

+4 because I am sure this dude has good intentions, but the whole thing is just so intensely creepy and apparently intended to guilt its recipient into responding?

+2 for the single mother / “women are so wise” bit.

+4 for full-on “I bow out, but am so disappointed” full-on guilt trip at the end. If you have to shame someone into talking to you, maybe reconsider a few things.

TOTAL POINTS: 22.