A(n)nals of Online Dating

[A message sent to me from a 68-year-old man. I’m 23.]

Girl, if you think I’m a crude old bastard or maybe one of those internet assholes you mentioned in your test answers, then so be it. But, if you would ever like some no strings attached sex, I’d love to try and set you free. Other than oral, I suspect I’d have to use a dildo to get you there.

I have no idea how I came across your profile, but your pic and the seemingly truthfulness of your answers and explanations has me somewhat dumbfounded. I admire someone who will tell it as it is.

You don’t have to reply to tell me I’m one of those internet assholes because I think I know this is inappropriate, but I just gotta do it and will not communicate with you again unless you indicate is is ok to do so.

I’m probably going to regret this ten seconds after I send it.

____________________________________________

+15 for “if” she thinks he’s a crude old bastard. 68. 23. Dildos. CHECK.

+20 for the admission that he can’t keep it up anymore in a sexay message about banging her.

+6 for the boner-killing mental image of a 68-year-old giving oral. YUCK.

+7 for “I think I know this is inappropriate.” You think?

TOTAL POINTS: 48.