Actually, you appear to be Captain Overuse of Exclamation Points and Ellipses

First off, READ the rules, LEARN the rules, LOVE the rules. Understood? Excellent!

ATTENTION: Rules are meant to be broken, those rules ARE NOT these rules.
1. Clingers, crazies, attention whores, gold diggers, fuglies, RN’s, fatties and girls with children need not apply. Don’t consider me shallow, but 1 is company and 2 is a crowd. I’m a catch, not Captain Save your ass.

2. I’m just playing about being an RN, What’s the deal with all you nurses on here anyways, that kinda creeps me out…… shouldn’t you be saving lives instead of being on here?? I wonder how many people have died on your watch b/c you were so intrigued reading my profile… Ok, on with the rules!!

3. If we start dating and you’re an RN or work at a hospital, don’t expect me to come to your work for anything, I don’t want to see 10 other girls I’ve ignored or gone on a few dates with from here, again, what’s the deal with all you medical field girls on here?

4. I am not going to marry you because we have a lot in common.

5. I am not looking to “hook up”, have a “one night stand” or a “fling”.

6. I am selective about who I will talk to, so it’s best you accept that. If I don’t reply, it’s probably because you didn’t follow rule 1 or b/c you don’t have a picture posted which creeps me out even more. I wouldn’t test drive a car that I can’t see so why the hell would I take you out in public without seeing you first either?

7. If we exchange emails, texts, phone calls or even some romantic kisses and it doesn’t work out, I DON’T want to be your friend. I have enough friends for you and I both. Stalking me, blowing up my cell phone, emailing every attractive girl I’m friends with on facebook are also out of the question as acceptable post “us” activities.

8. The first date is a surprise, it will be based upon what I feel you and I would enjoy the most and will definitely be a good time for the both of us should we choose to move forward with such an endeavor

9. And again….just to make sure were clear, no basket cases. If you have daddy or self-esteem issues, habits of self-mutilation or a file at the local psych ward, I have a number for you to call and it’s not mine. I am not looking for any stalkers, clingers, crazies or girls who are “in love” with me by the 3rd date. K? K, good talk!

10. Please, NO and I repeat NO Jersey Shore enthusiasts. I promise I don’t have beef with T.V., but I prefer to watch something that doesn’t kill brains cells and drop IQ points. And don’t even get me started on that hoe Snooki!

About me: I’m 22, motivated, opinionated and like to think for myself….not a big fan of boxes. I am a firm believer in deserving what YOU WANT, and a life without passion doesn’t seem like living to me. I’ve been told I have a sensitive side…..I just happen to think the notebook was a fantastic movie! I have a serious problem with making pancakes and biscuits….I have tried again and again and they just won’t come out like my grandmothers! I may have been born with some mountain man in me…and I’ve been giving some serious consideration to applying for Top Shot. Did I mention I’m a bit of a movie buff? It would also be noteworthy to point out I take pride in being a Man who’s not beyond cuddling up to a good romantic flick…..because I enjoy both(-:

+4 for “First off, READ the rules, LEARN the rules, LOVE the rules. Understood? Excellent!” You definitely do not seem potentially abusive in any way. 

+3 because the words “chocolate” and “orgasm” are in his username.

+4 for the weird obsession with nurses.

+5 for his aversion to crazies, since he seems TOTALLY NORMAL and clearly has absolutely no deep-seated issues with women or normal human interaction.

+2 for “I am a firm believer in deserving what YOU WANT.” You are also a firm believer in not making sense.

+3 for being such a total asshole in his entire profile and then trying to salvage the thing by saying he likes The Notebook.