Apparently uppers are Kosher.

My self-summary 

I am a paid member on JDATE under the name [redacted]
Stop intermarriage between Jews and Gentiles go to the website below .

http://www.aish.com/jw/s/48969651.html

Love listening to JEWISH MUSIC . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JEWISH MUSIC ? What do I regret doing in last month? That would be joining Jdate . Why because you can’t compete when they refilter profiles and you never know who is a paid member . Who has that much time to go through 500 profiles a night ?

WE have take it a step further you , me as Jews we owe it to each other to reply even if one is fat , ugly , short it called doing the right thing . A real Israeli will answer a note no matter what I know I have been around.

MUST BE A JEWISH WOMAN! Do I have to join JDATE again ? OY VEY ! MUST BELIEVE THE LAND OF ISRAEL BELONGS TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE OTHERWISE YOUR CALLING THE ALMIGHTY A LIAR !

GO GIANTSSSSSSSSSSS

I say no to PORK and SHELL FISH like crack that kills!

When one is in a relationship with someone you should not expect them to get plastic surgery. You were either in it for the long term or you should never have gotten involved with them. What do you think after a couple of kids the woman’s body is not going to change? You shmuck stop thinking the way western society wants you to think. look for values and goals . Also ladies looking for a wallet .a full set of hair or the tallest man in the world is not realistic either .

Reality is we are getting older and we have to have realistic values. These values play an important role in our relationship .

Maybe the only answer for a Jewish man today is to make Aliyah find an Israeli woman and stay in Israel. I would like to be proven wrong, unfortunately no Jewish American woman has proven me wrong on this.

MY question is only for the Jewish women how many in your families have married out? Would you marry out ?

My profile really gives a woman the chance to get know me through words . It is important to watch the movie “Crossing Delancy” Why you ask ? To understand who Sam the pickle man is and realize that he is the type of man that will never cheat on you ,he will respect you but, never allow you walk all over him . When you are sick he is who you call on . When your Bubbe makes dinner he is who you want sitting between you and her . He makes for a good husband and father . I am the local Sam the pickle man ! I’m intellectually curious, love to joke around, and explore the world around me. What better way than with a partner in crime that is Jewish and understands how important it is to get to know one another inside and out from the kishkas.

In response to the question I was asked,” What I think of online dating”. The answer is, I live in [a medium-sized American city]. The majority of Jewish women that are single are in their early 20s, young enough to be my daughter. The other group are in their late 50s, and almost old enough to be my mother. Now, If I was back in NYC or Chicago I would walk up to 50 women between the ages of 30 to 42 a day until I found a Jewish one that was right for me. I would not need online dating . I don’t understand why guys in bigger cities are online when ratio wise, you have the the upper hand . Are you abusive to these women that you hide behind a computer? I don’t understand it .

The way I keep kosher is more like a vegetarian. That brings me to this next point .

Should I take the short and easy way out and marry a non jewish woman ? I am looking for a long term relationship that can lead to marriage to a JEWISH woman!.

Stop looking for secular partnership and start looking for a Jewish soul mate ! Then you will find what you really need instead of always trying to find what is not real. Believe me I have heard the excuses on both sides !My intentions are serious.

Jewish women, don’t waste time looking at profiles. Make the effort and write Jewish men . We will write you back even if we do not connect. I have lots of Jewish guy friends that are also straight and single remember that 🙂 ~ I am a strong believer in helping each other. I don’t want to date all the women of the world . All I need is 1! Ask a guy if his mother is Jewish otherwise he is not Jewish .

I am very real and I don’t have to prove anything to myself by dating much younger girls or much older women . 30 to 40 is perfect. It all about connecting on all levels. We won’t agree on everything but the important things we will agree on! Okay so my grammar is not the best, but who doesn’t make mistakes ?

It is important for me to be up front so I do not waste your time or mine . I am looking for a long term relationship. However, you can’t get a long term relationship without starting off as friends . .

I am very straight to the point and still can be sensitive to others

Crazy Eddies may be out of business but, you will get the best deal right here with a full refund if your not happy .

This is who I would like to meet: a woman that is not afraid to express her feelings , fears ,shortcomings ,weakness, and uses them as her strength to communicate with me . I am looking for a woman that is able to voice her likes and dislikes to me with a bubbly personality.

Someone who is a music lover. I would prefer a woman that does not smoke or use drugs .

I would like to find a woman that wants to learn about Judaism together. She is not embarrassed to wear a Hamsa , or Star of David.

I am sincere and loyal to family and friends . I believe in romance , and love to cuddle , hug and hold hands in private or public .

What I’m doing with my life

I’m a Public Service Adviser who is also proactive in the community.

One thing I find enjoyable is promoting and working on my lyrics while performing them. I prefer being around interesting, stimulating people rather than being in a bar with drunk people . I head up a safety patrol, and most of the time we are dealing with drunk people on the streets . That is another reason why the last place I want to be is in a bar. I was training in MMA very different then the street or Krav .

A good workout ,being in the sun in the spring, summer and of course going to the park .

I’m really good at downhill skiing .skeeball , trivia , roller skating , listening , acting ,impersonations, making people crack up, appreciating someone for who they are, writing MY lyrics , Being loyal to friends ! being in a loyal relationship .Telling it the way it is, Solving other peoples problems ,having moral values and respect for others. The first things people usually notice about me My Brooklyn dialect or sexy masculine voice that can over power a room , hair style , my soulful brown eyes and my off the wall sense of humor I tend to say what I think or feel. You can feel my high energy level when I walk in a room ! Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food  Oy, books I read so many I could open a library in my mind. Hollywood might as well rent my mind its going cost more then Trump Tower . Music Lover – Old Skool Hip Hop from late 70s to the early 90s , Disco classics , Freestyle club from the 80s like TKA , Debby Deb, Cynthia , my homegirl Alisha , Shannon ,and all forms of House music from NOO Yawk to Chi-town .I prefer Djs that know how to blend a record not slap a cd in a machine. Jazz greats like Charlie Parker , Coltraine , Mingus , Ella Fitzgerald , Louie Amstrong . Oh yea the real charmers Al Jolson , Frankie blue eyes Sinatra , Tony Bennett, Barbra Streisand, Wayne Newton , Classical music artist Paganini , Russini , Chatorian but to name some . Eyal Golan all Mizrachi music , Poogey Kraveret and anything Israeli.

FOOD TIME I ‘m hungry. Are you? So come let’s eat Moroccan cous cous , Israeli , Indian , Persian ,Greek, Mexican , Italian , all veggies. NO pork and shell fish ever ! The six things I could never do without  Yea right six things. Dream on. My family, , friends, Am Yisrael , Israel, my mind ,my memories, my sight , my hearing, food , my lyrics , my music , my books , videos , my car , the internet , being able to admire the girl of my dreams wherever she is. I spend a lot of time thinking about  Why it is that the bigger the city the more the women will be competing against each other? The smaller the city the more I will be competing against other guys.

How many Jewish women will reject Jewish guys? Those men will marry out !If you still care ,you can prevent this the ball is in your court ladies !
If people would help one another we would not have all these singles on here.

Let me say this Ron Paul is dangerous and if he gets elected we will be crying for the days of Bill Clinton or George W Bush even more then now ! The song by Mary Hopkins Those were the days reminds me of the way I knew Brooklyn . Does us anyone really want to be single? You could die the next day single. Now that is horrible to me . On a typical Friday night I am  Lately trying to spend time with family. If I am free I am open going to synagogue and doing just about anything. Sometimes training and leading out patrol depending on the weekend weather . The most private thing I’m willing to admit  I bite my fingernails. I would not call this private. I find it very painful not being able to find my Beshert = match. I’m an ass man . You should message me if you want to meet someone that is a mix of Woody Allen , Larry David , Richard Lewis , Dice and Al Pacino all in one . You want to have a conversation from something serious to something fun. All I need is 1 the right 1 if this sounds like you contact me. . You like a guy that will not play mind games . Your sick and tired of being the doormat . example you go out with a guy that stares at the game or TV instead of looking into your eyes ! Lets get off this roller coaster together .


+3 for what religion do you think he is?

+4 for the longest “self-summary” ever. SUMMARY, friend, SUMMARY.

+4 for “Love listening to JEWISH MUSIC . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JEWISH MUSIC ?” The ALL CAPS mean he is very serious about his love of Jewish music. Stop intermusic between Jews and Gentiles!

+5 for “A real Israeli will answer a note no matter what I know I have been around.”  This is a really good trick that I am going to adopt: Make a broad, baseless statement, and support it by saying “I know I have been around.”  Who can argue with that?  Bonus points because it makes you sound hella slutty.

+3 for “OY VEY ! MUST BELIEVE THE LAND OF ISRAEL BELONGS TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE OTHERWISE YOUR CALLING THE ALMIGHTY A LIAR !”  I hope that that even if He is a liar, the Almighty at least knows the difference between “you’re/your” and doesn’t add a space before punctuation marks.

+2 for “I say no to PORK and SHELL FISH like crack that kills!” That… doesn’t even make sense. I mean sure, keep kosher, more power to you. And pork and shellfish are a little like crack insofar as they are delicious. But they won’t kill you. At least not quite so quickly.

+5 for “When one is in a relationship with someone you should not expect them to get plastic surgery.” Awww! Clearly we have a winner here, ladies.

+6 for “Sam the Pickle Man.” I understand the impulse to make a pop culture reference in your online dating profile. I understand watching a film or a television show and relating to one of the characters (I myself often feel like Jack Donaghy).  But when you find yourself typing the words “I am the local Sam the pickle man” into your online dating profile — a venue where, it apparently needs to be said, you are trying to put your best face forward in order to meet chicks — it might be time to seriously consider your life choices.

+2 for “partner in crime,” which just may be the #1 online dating cliche. Stop it, all of you people who say you are looking for a partner in crime, because it is uncreative and annoying. Unless you are actually looking for someone with whom to commit crimes. And then take that shit to Craig’s List.

+3 for “Stop looking for secular partnership and start looking for a Jewish soul mate ! Then you will find what you really need instead of always trying to find what is not real.”  Everyone is allowed to have requirements for their relationships. I, for example, would never date someone who was socially conservative or regularly used the wrong form of “its.” To each their own! But part of the whole “to each their own” thing is TO EACH THEIR OWN. Which means don’t lecture strangers on the internet about how their relationships aren’t “real” if they decide to intermarry.

+5 for “How many Jewish women will reject Jewish guys? Those men will marry out !If you still care ,you can prevent this the ball is in your court ladies !” Yes, the problem of “marrying out” is the fault of every Jewish woman who has ever rejected a Jewish man. How dare you not date the first Jew who eyes you in Hebrew school! You are responsible for the downfall of the race.

+6 for “Does us anyone really want to be single? You could die the next day single. Now that is horrible to me.” More horrible than reading this entire profile?

TOTAL POINTS: 48.

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