…are you calling me fat?

Hello my beautiful sweet juicy fruit Nubian black queen chocolate sweetness thickness ice-cream cake empress woman candy baby how are u feeling early today darling how was work sunshine?

+6 for SO MANY ADJECTIVES.

+4 for adjective choices including “juicy fruit,” “thickness,” “ice-cream cake,” “chocolate” and “empress.” I think he is actually coming up with these himself and not even consulting a thesaurus.

+3 for what do you think her racial background is?

+3 for amazing run-on sentence.

+2 for asking about work when he has never talked to her before.

+3 because he obviously spends a lot of time in the candy aisle. Hopefully his women-are-food thing will at least mean he regularly dines at the Y.

TOTAL POINTS: 21.