…are you calling me fat?
Hello my beautiful sweet juicy fruit Nubian black queen chocolate sweetness thickness ice-cream cake empress woman candy baby how are u feeling early today darling how was work sunshine?
+6 for SO MANY ADJECTIVES.
+4 for adjective choices including “juicy fruit,” “thickness,” “ice-cream cake,” “chocolate” and “empress.” I think he is actually coming up with these himself and not even consulting a thesaurus.
+3 for what do you think her racial background is?
+3 for amazing run-on sentence.
+2 for asking about work when he has never talked to her before.
+3 because he obviously spends a lot of time in the candy aisle. Hopefully his women-are-food thing will at least mean he regularly dines at the Y.
TOTAL POINTS: 21.