Aren’t you supposed to offer me some candy first?

Subject: Too much to handle???

Well aren’t you gorgeous for being so young and so very tiny…thought you were underage at first. It’s not often I can say that about such a fragile and innocent girl being very attractive. You probably can’t keep up with an experienced, adventurous and naughty bad man unfortunately, can you? 😉 

…we’d definitely make good looking kids though, the world may not be ready for them. 

The mind is hotter than the hottest of bodies…what do you have up there???

+7 for the gist of this message being, “So basically, I am a pedophile.”

+5 for the subject line. Actually yes, the suggestion that you’re interested because I look like a child is, in fact, too much to handle.

+3 for “naughty bad man.” (a) Gross; (b) Get a better thesaurus.

+9 for “thought you were underage” followed by “it’s not often I can say that.” True. Because usually if you say that YOU GO TO JAIL.