“Horror all the way” is the most accurate thing you said here.

My self-summary: I’m relaxed, cool, and sometimes off the charts crazy. Unpredictable and mysterious. I’m the type of woman to slap you across the face and then pull your pants down and devour you. I’d be happy to find my perfect match. You must be WHITE. I accept nothing else or less. Sending me a message will be a WASTE OF TIME if you are not white.

What I’m doing with my life: I’m enjoying each and every day shopping, cooking, and taking care of my every need sacrificing nothing.

I’m really good at: I’m good at everything I put my hands on.

The first things people usually notice about me: First thing people notice is my royal presence when I walk into a room.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food: Horror all the way

The six things I could never do without:

  • Booze
  • Food
  • Shopping
  • Hot men
  • Nail polish
  • Implants

I spend a lot of time thinking about: I spend alot of time thinking about life.

On a typical Friday night I am: On a typical Friday I’m diddling a 21 year old.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit: I talk to my plants if they start growing new foliage.

I’m looking for:

  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

You should message me if:

I like my men tall, fit, sexy, and WHITE. I’m VERY picky. Imagine. I have over 50 men a day messaging me off this site and another. I cannot have them all. You must be different. Cannot be a pig or pervert. No asking me for private pics. No stupid questions. No alcoholics or druggies. No jailbirds. Control is a must. Respect is respected.

+8 for being really big on the racism! Especially the “I accept nothing else or less.” Um… can one really be LESS than white? Is that how skin color works?

+7 for being VERY picky — so picky she will reject drug addicts, perverts and ex-cons. Gotta really bring your A-game to get with this one.

+5 because she definitely is The Worst Person In The World, right? Right.

+6 for having the nerve to say she spends a lot of time thinking about “life.” Haha. Ok. I mean, I suppose picking a nail polish color and shopping and hating brown people are part of “life,” so.

+4 for not being able to live without implants. Pretty sure you could, and you have.

+3 for having more than 50 men message her EVERY DAY. Every day! How is she supposed to get anything done, beyond responding to OK Cupid messages, getting her nails done, shopping, diddling 21-year-olds and hating anyone who isn’t the color of printer paper?

+4 for “diddling a 21-year-old.” No. Go to jail. For that and for everything else here.