I also live in my mother’s basement and spend my days berating strangers on the internet, because paying rent and meeting real people is for fat losers.

Message 1:

You’re too pretty (and obviously too smart) for this site. Anyone who uses this side has some fundamental personality issues. I do realize that it is rather difficult to meet people in real life, but, the people who are on this site are usually either completely socially retarded or simply drowning in self-inflicted loneliness. You should go out and meet some people in real life, they’ll be a lot more genuine and a 100 times less creepy than those you will meet through shitty online dating. You have to realize that 95% of dudes use this site for sex, and 95% of chicks who use this site are too fat to get a real life date. I’ve had this stupid fake profile for a while, as a kind of social experiment, and you can’t imagine how many silly insecure comments I get a day from people whose profiles I have never visited just to tell me what an asshole I am simply based on the obviously jovial lulzy comments on my profile. It’s amazing.

Message 2:

You shouldn’t feel defensive at all, I am by no means attacking you, just giving you some honest advise, as you’re young and probably not experienced with the extreme creepiness of the internetz in a college town… and well, you seem like a nice girl in a sea of depression and blubber. 

I’m on this site to make fat chicks feel uncomfortable when I’m too bored to watch TNG. I actually am a writer myself, and have a horribly dark sense of humor… which leads me to spending a precious 5 minutes a day on this site. 

I’m not out for anything. I’ve never met anyone off this site. That’s not me in the picture, it’s this douchebag I knew in high school. He was a real douche. I thought it went well with the profile. 

Go out and conquer all of them shy introverted closeted girls! They await your salvation


+6 for using an online dating site to message a woman on that site in order to tell her that all people on that site are creepy losers. I suppose he’s illustrating the point well.

+4 for “You have to realize that 95% of dudes use this site for sex, and 95% of chicks who use this site are too fat to get a real life date.” It’s true, fat women are totally unable to get dates in real life, which is why the majority of American adults are single, alone and have never had sex. Except men, who only have sex. Right?

+3 for “I’m on this site to make fat chicks feel uncomfortable when I’m too bored to watch TNG.” Sure. And it’s everyone else on here who has social problems and insecurity issues.

TOTAL POINTS: 13.

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