I didn’t want to waste my hard-earned vagina on you anyway.

You should message me if: Message me if you are intelligent and can hold chopsticks and are not racist. Also message me if you can understand that a WOMAN’S vagina is like a MAN’S money. Meaning if we are NOT dating and if I do not KNOW who you are, you will have to be able to provide for yourself. I am not going to give a little unless you can give a little. Most women don’t want to feel like a whore by giving it up on the first night and don’t want to be used just for sex. They also don’t want to give it up and then be afraid the man will leave. That’s the SAME way I FEEL about spending my hard earned money on you. A lot of women in this town don’t follow through with anything they say and a lot of them have A LOT of insecurities along with expecting a guy to buy them food and drinks and then completely walk over them. I don’t play that and I’ve dated a few women who are gorgeous who happen to understand what I am talking about. So if you u understand that my money and time is just as valuable as your body, then we’ll be in agreement to not share anything until there is an understanding.

+3 for his major requirements being not-racist, not-stupid and capable of holding chopsticks (you don’t even have to know how to use them!). Setting the bar high, I see.

+15 for vagina = money, and so to avoid feeling like a whore, you need to understand that this dude will only spend money on you once you spread. I’m not sure he understands the meaning of the word “whore.”

+5 for not realizing that women have hard-earned money too.

+7 for “my money and time is just as valuable as your body.” Not to me it isn’t, because if I didn’t have a body, I would be dead. To me, not being dead is worth quite a lot more than the cost of dinner and two hours of your extremely important time.

+3 for at least being up-front in his totally consumerist view of gender relations.

+4 because how does this actually work? I think it’s like this: On date three the lady goes, “Ok so I’m still not going to bang you, but I’ll give you a handjob,” and he’s like, “Ok here’s some deli hummus I purchased that we can share for dinner.” And on date five she’s like, “Ok so I’m still not going to bang you, but I’ll give you a blowjob” and he’s like, “Ok I will purchase your Chipotle burrito and whatever size soft drink you prefer.” And on date seven she’s like, “I will bang you now” and he’s like, “Great, I made reservations at the local Italian place and will put this on my credit card.” And when she’s eventually like “Anal?” he’s all, “STEAKHOUSE TONIGHT!”