Jelly seems like a better option.

I’m not saying I’m chivalrous, but I’m polite. Before anal sex I’ll be sure to put some nutella or peanut butter on your butthole and lick it up.


+8 because lining your butthole with a nut-based spread is extremely polite in some cultures. Right?

+5 because this guy has definitely never had anal sex before if he thinks that a sticky thick food item is going to help the situation.

+3 because why the first-message anal sex reference? This is officially a Thing that dudes on internet dating sites do, and I don’t understand it. Has it ever worked? Has any woman ever read a message from a dude wanting to fuck her in the ass and been like, “Yes, that is definitely the kind of guy who will use appropriate amounts of lube and not ram his rock-hard three inches into my butt without proper preparation and will absolutely be into the kinds of sexual activities that are most likely to make me cum”? I mean maybe but yeah no, never.

TOTAL POINTS: 16.

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