NoOoOo.

HeyyA,

What is UP? I knowww  NothinG.. Haha Alrighty then!! Next.. Yes I do have a sense of Humor and I am a mellow Down to earth Gentleman for sure. So to be completely honest with you, I have been contemplating on sending you this email or not. I almost gave myself a black eye in deciding. Just Kiddding!! Why am I emailing you like this Out of the Blue without me knowing anything about you except from what I read on your Post? Well like I said I am feeling Invincible today and that gives me fearless abilities to jump over buildings and ask you crazzzzy but Sane questions like the one I am going to try and ask you in a second.

First though something about me. I am a 30 something guy (to me age is just a Number, We all mature at different times and we all die at different ages, so that’s what makes age a silly number)just adjusting to single life, Don’t ask UGH haha!! Anyway I can tell you that being single already SucKs Soo BaD. I even woke up this morning and told myself that Today is going to be a Better day.. For the most part it hasn’t been all that BaD so far, but the day is not even close to being over. I should not complain too Much and if I did No one would care!! Rightttt? See I told ya. HaHaH

Back to my Invincible positivity. You are Not going to believe this But besides being Invincible today, I woke up today feeling Strong with good positive vibes and a twinge of Naughty Too!! Yes I did say naughty or BaD if you want to call it.. HaHaa !! So I decided I should try and do something about it, that’s why I have chosen you to be that “One”. OK so what I NeeD is a really Big favor from You to ME!!  I am sure we can work out the finer details and exchange pictures to see if it’s a GO or not! That’s of course after you say “YesSSSsss !!! 😛

The Question.. Yeahh the Question is “Can I Please, With All of your Permission, “Go Down” on U and lick you in all of the right spots?? YES I am Serious!! I know crazy huh?? But Seriously, I could really use that taste of YouR tangy sweetness! That’s how I ROLL!! In Today’s Lingo. I can give you enough reasons WHY you SHOULD let me Go Down on you, but I am Positive I can Not think of ONE Bad Reason. Can You? I mean if you have Read this far into my email you might as well allow me to Go Down on you? Right?? I think that’s Only Fair…

I know will absolutely surprise you with how seductive and soft and gentle I am going to be with your most delicate, Sacred prized possession.. As if that’s Not enough to get you to say Yes I could also throw in a full body massage? Make this a Pamper “You” Day…

So that’s it, that’s the Big Question I wanted to ask you, short sweet and to the point (sort of). So what do you think? ;-P  Tempted? What’s there to Lose? You gotta Say Yes Right? There are no further Obligations either. I promise! I want to do this for You with you and To you!!

YeSSsss  ??


+5 for the bizarre capitalization. Surely it takes longer to type like that than to just write like a normal person, yeah?

+3 for cliche machine.

+6 for “tangy sweetness.” Eew.

+5 for “I can give you enough reasons WHY you SHOULD let me Go Down on you, but I am Positive I can Not think of ONE Bad Reason. Can You?”  Yes, I can think of several reasons why I would not let a stranger from the internet taste my “tangy sweetness.” For example: (1) herpes; (2) herpes; (3) if you can’t be bothered to type properly, I have no reason to believe you can be bothered to eat me out properly.

+4 for “I mean if you have Read this far into my email you might as well allow me to Go Down on you? Right??” Solid logic right there. If I let a dude go down on me every time I finished reading one of his semi-literate internet droppings, Ross Douthat would be a much more well-adjusted man.

+5 for “your most delicate, Sacred prized possession.” You’re going to come over and be soft and gentle with my first edition copy of Ulysses?

TOTAL POINTS: 28.

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