Sorry, I’m on Team Jacob.


+15 for HUMAN SACRIFICE.

+6 for sacrifice and rape. Sacrifice and THEN rape? I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than the opposite order.

+2 because of course his name is Edward. Is this some bizarro Twilight shit? I don’t understand.

+4 because does he understand what “sacrifice” means? I suspect no, and that he thinks it’s just part of some intense BDSM business. Because actually getting killed is not going to give you any boners.

TOTAL POINTS: 27.

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