To be fair, all the mayonnaise we eat makes us extra gassy.

hi. Are u a strong white lady and do u have mean side as well? You look strong and sexy and i love to email gift cards to strong white women. Do u like gift cards?

my mom is jealous of white women and she hate when they fart by her. What wuld u do to her if u farted by her and she got attitude or hit u?

my mom should bow down to white women. she has weak arms, ankles,and knees, and is outta shape, and u r probably stronger than her.

+3 for a pick-up line involving gift cards. Who doesn’t love gift cards?

+4 for mommy issues to the max.

+5 for his mom hating it when white women fart by her. When anyone else farts in her direction she is totally fine I’m sure. Clearly she is racist.

+7 for the fascinating hypothetical: What would YOU do if you farted by his mother and she got an attitude or hit you? I’ll tell you what: I would not fart at a stranger to begin with, and I’d avoid this whole issue.

+4 for insisting that his mother should bow down to white women because of her weak arms and knees. Wouldn’t that make bowing harder?

+3 because what lady doesn’t want a nice young man with some deeply-held race issues and a preference for white women because he knows it’ll anger his mom, who hates white-lady farts?