When I say that I am going to emotionally abuse you for the rest of your life, definitely respond to my online dating profile.

From a lady’s About Me:

Don’t talk about other girls around me. When I stare at your mouth, kiss me. When I push you or hit you cause I think I’m stronger than you, grab me and don’t let go. When I start cursing at you trying to act all tough, kiss me and tell me you love me. When I’m quiet, ask me whats wrong. When I ignore you, give me your attention. When I pull away, pull me back. When you see me at my worst, tell me im amazing. When I’m scared, protect me. When I tease you, tease me back and make me laugh. When I look at you with doubt, back yourself up. When I say that I loves you, I really do more than you can understand. When I grab at your hands, hold mine and play with my fingers. When I bump into you, bump into me back and make me laugh. When I tell you a secret, keep it safe and untold. When I look at you in your eyes, don’t look away until I do. When I say it’s over, I still want you to be mine. Stay on the phone with me even if im not saying anything. When I’m mad hug me tight and don’t let go. When I say I’m okay don’t believe it, talk with me because 10yrs later im gonna remember you. Call me at 12:00 am on my birthday and tell me you love me. Treat me like im all that matters to you. Stay up all night with me when im sick. Watch my favorite movie with me or my favorite show even if you think its stupid. Give me the world. Let me wear your clothes. When I’m bored and sad, hang out with me. Let me know im important. Kiss me in the pouring rain.


+5 for “When I push you or hit you cause I think I’m stronger than you, grab me and don’t let go.” Actually, the correct end to that sentence is “DUMP ME BECAUSE I JUST HIT YOU.”

+3 for WALL OF DEMANDS.

+2 for “give me the world.” Totally reasonable expectations from this one.

+3 for “When I say it’s over, I still want you to be mine.” Yep, totally normal. Definitely someone you want to date.

+3 for “When I say I’m okay don’t believe it, talk with me because 10yrs later im gonna remember you.” Sure, let’s get married.

+6 because this entire thing could be summed up as “I am a total basket case who plans on emotionally manipulating you for the rest of your life. Also I push and hit.”

TOTAL POINTS: 22.

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